You can't remember the last time you had a waist and, if you had to update your CV, “lemon meringue queen” would be at the top of your list of capabilities. The couch is much cosier than the gym, and you haven’t owned a scale in years ... but how do things look in the bedroom?

Physical attraction is a very necessary precursor for sexual chemistry. Plainly put: one person's weight gain can influence a relationship drastically. Your mate’s sex drive may have diminished drastically in the past — leaving you feeling unattractive and undesirable. You may be wondering what’s wrong with you, when, in all likelihood, the problem rests with him. It may be time to stop taking his addiction to sugar with a pinch of salt! Here are a few facts to consider if either of you has a spare tire that would rival that of a 4x4:

• Four out of five men with erectile dysfunction (ED) have a body mass index greater than 25. (A BMI of 30 or higher is classified as obese).
• Overweight men with a 28.7 BMI have a 30% greater chance of developing ED than men at normal weights. More weight equals poor blood flow — which ultimately leads to ED.
• Overweight women are also affected sexually by poor blood flow, which leaves a woman's body far less responsive and ultimately leads to a drop in desire. 

(Facts courtesy of WebMD.  Visit www.webmd.com)

It is estimated that 30% of overweight people report experiencing problems with their sex life, sexual drive, performance, or even all three of these and, what’s more, it’s believed that all of these problems can be directly linked to their obesity. Added to this, obesity can lead to high levels of cholesterol in the blood, which is often a factor that inhibits sexual performance. Also paired with excess weight, insulin resistance and diabetes (type 2) can have a negative effect on sexual performance. (www.socyberty.com)

Because weight problems don’t develop overnight, and one’s sex life declines gradually, one may not recognise a relation between these two elements, yet there is a definite link. An abundance of body fat inhibits blood flow in the veins that supply blood to the penis, either reducing or totally inhibiting his penile functions. In addition, the blood vessels that supply a woman's clitoris are narrowed, not to mention the effect obesity has on her self-image.

As if this isn't enough to motivate you to swop doughnuts for the treadmill, it has also been found that excess fat can lead to high levels of ‘sex hormone binding globulin’, which inhibits and binds to the body’s sex hormone, testosterone. But here’s the good news: a study presented at the 2005 annual scientific meeting of The Obesity Society found — although overweight people often report problems with sexual desire, sex drive and sexual performance, even avoiding sex completely — even moderate weight loss can have a positive impact on how you feel about your sexuality.

At this meeting, it was also uncovered that people who lost a total of 10% of their body weight reported that the quality of their sex life improved dramatically. Before the study, women admitted feeling unattractive, with many not prepared to be seen naked by their partners. At the end of the study, only 25% of these women still felt sexually undesirable after losing 12% of their original weight. (www.weightloss.com)

It hasn't been measured if these problems are psychological or physiological, but it has definitely been found that weight loss causes overweight women to feel more self-assured, and helps them to continue their efforts, claims clinical psychologist Martin Binks. (www.healthyplace.com). Weight loss of even 5 kg can result in the release of testosterone which will give the libido a boost! (www.socyberty.com).

What can you do if you or your mate’s obesity is damaging your sex life?
The issue of weight is a sensitive one. Your husband isn't going to grin from ear to ear when you ask him: ‘ Do you really think you should be eating that extra chop after the weight you’ve picked up these past couple of weeks?’ As much as you want to, you can't force him to swop his pork sausages for celery sticks, or go for a 10 km run each morning.

Confrontations about weight should be done in the right way, and at the right time. Believe it or not, he knows what’s good for his body, and what isn’t. You aren't telling him anything new when you rap him over the knuckles for those six beers — he knows each is equal to a hydraulic sandwich! What he actually needs is acceptance and appreciation for who he really is so that, when the time is right, he will be open to your suggestions.

Remember that when your husband’s self-image takes a dive, his sex drive may also suffer, and it will be difficult for him to be in the mood for sex. Added to this, if he picks up that you're judging him, he might not be prepared to shed his clothes in front of you.

If it’s you who has picked up the additional weight, remember that sexual fulfillment has a lot to do with attitude. Cut yourself some slack. Studies might show that almost 30% of overweight people have sexual problems, but they have also proven that 70% of overweight people perform satisfactorily in bed. (www.askmarsvenus.com).

It is, however, important to keep tabs on your weight. Weight loss may be just the boost your sex life needs, but if this isn’t enough to motivate you, remember that being overweight is bad for your health. Exercise provides many advantages when it comes to sex. Yoga, bike riding or even brisk walking can increase blood flow to the thighs, pelvis and buttocks which is good for building desire and response. Particularly helpful are exercises designed to improve blood circulation in the body generally, but especially to the genitals.

So if you’re worried about what this winter’s malva puddings and indulgent casseroles have done to your body, pull the celery sticks closer and do some sit-ups while watching your daily dose of Desperate Housewives … and before long, you’ll feel better, look sexier and enjoy life more, both inside and outside of bed!